April 20, 2010

Octavius Speaks

My fellow combatants,

I understand the courage one must possess in order to enter into battle against me. And, I concede, it is most certainly for this courage that you shall be remembered, long after your inevitable defeats. For I have already crushed the King of Killer Whales and bested the Great Master of Giant Squids. For I am Champion of the Seas. For I have laid waste to all those who have dared to think they could challenge me.

I will put an end to you.

I now give you this one chance to give up and go home. Do so, and, at the very least, you can go on living your pathetic lives. Otherwise, the following fates await you :

Peanut Brittle Pat - Do you know what my favorite kind of sandwich is? It's a peanut butter, jelly, and Pat sandwich.
Mammoth - You think you know torture? Just wait until I am done with you. I will dine upon the broken remains of your spine.
Lobsterman - I have dealt with your kind in the past. I have feasted upon their succulent flesh. Once you are defeated, I will boil you alive and delight in your agony.
The decision is yours.

Octavius has spoken